Sunday, April 8, 2012

This Video Made My Day


I have always been(or atleast tried to be) an optimist when it comes to stuttering.Browsing through several online stuttering forums,meeting other stutterers,more often than not,I always sense a feeling of hatred among pws for the world.People not being sensitive,not understanding them,etc.etc.Now these feelings are totally valid,truth is I feel the same way whenever I have a bad stuttering experience,but still a voice inside of me always says that this world is full of good and kind-hearted people and I try to remember this even in my most difficult times.And this video,just reinforced my faith in humanity.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Intelligence And Wisdom

Watching a movie yesterday,I stumbled upon a great explanation of intelligence vs. wisdom..

What I have seen in the stuttering community that all of us (including me) are intelligent-I mean really really intelligent when it comes to stammering.In blogs and stuttering groups and even in SHG's each and every one of us has all the right remedies to our stuttering problems,and the majority of them can be pretty helpful.You dont believe me ????? Just type a query regarding your problem in any of the stuttering group on Facebook and you will get like a hundred replies in an hour.

So if each and every one of us know so much,why are the majority of us still suffering ????? Thats because we are intelligent but lack wisdom.

Still confused ???? Okay let me put it in a simple way-All of us know jogging everyday in the morning has great benefits.This is knowledge.Actually jogging everyday is wisdom.Wisdom means practicing your knowledge in your real life.

You know that voluntary stuttering is good for you,but a wise person practices this in his life.He believes in his knowledge and makes it a part of his life.I can quote infinite examples like this but I guess you have got what i am trying to convey here.

And how to know yourself if you are wise or intelligent ?????? Just ask yourself a simple question-Am I really happy ???? The answer to this question is your answer will tell if you really are wise or just a wiki on stuttering.


Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Pain-Body-Stammering-SHG

In last weeks shg,while coordinating meet,i could feel my stuttering rise a bit,I didnt really think about it at that time.Then after the meet was over,another shg member shared the same concern with me.Driving back home,a chain of thoughts started inside of me-Is my stuttering really worsening due to the shg ????? Am I committing  a mistake ????? etc.etc....I stopped the chain of thoughts(I am getting better at getting more aware of my thoughts nowadays :-) ) I just stopped thinking about it,and carried on with my life.

Then a couple of days after the meet,I found my answer from deep within.When I attend a shg meet with other pws,there is a high amount of pain body(explained in my previous post) between ourselves,that pain body is of fear,guilt,shame,etc.etc.All these pain-bodies get highly activated in each others presence and hence take over our body and as a result we start to stutter more and more.So is joining an SHG bad ????? Its not,if you look at the bigger picture.

A common complaint among all pws is-"I can talk easily in some situations but in others,I cant get a word out of my mouth."Its just that in those "not able to speak situations",the pain-body takes over our body and we are helpless to deal with it,and as a result go in severe blocks with no technique helping us whatsoever.

Here comes the most important role the SHG will play in my (and hopefully yours as well )-An SHG gives me the chance to deal with my pain-body when it is in the active mode,i.e. when it takes over my body,I have a chance in the shg to become aware of what changes comes inside of me when severe blocks occur,and take corrective actions accordingly. It gives me a chance to apply my presence and acceptance,so as to not allow the pain-body take over myself.

So,the next time you have a doubt in your mind that you are stammering more in shg meetings,take it as an opportunity to practice your control over your body instead of blaming the SHG's so that you become a better communicator in the outside-where it really matters.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

The Vicious Pain-Body

All stutterers,whether moderate or severe have experienced a very over-powering feeling right before and after they stutter.Usually,the thoughts in your head before you stutter is like,"Should I speak or keep quiet ???""Man,I am gonna block on my name!!!""I wish I hadn't come here and should have made some excuse !!!"
The usual feelings accompanying these thoughts are of guilt and fear.Then after a stuttering experience,you have thoughts like"I wish I could die".i am a hopeless person,not even managing to say my name"I hate myself".I am so pathetic,i am never gonna make any friends,forget a girl-friend" ans so on and so forth.
The feelings accompanying these thoughts are of shame,guilt,hopelessness etc.
And no matter how hard you try,no matter how much practice you do,you just cant speak fluently when it matters the most.Here is where a PAIN-BODY comes into play.

So whats a pain-body ??? A pain body can be thought of as a parasite that feeds on your negative feelings and just love when you have negative thoughts,as it gets more negative feelings to gobble away,and the more it eats,the stronger it becomes.The more stronger it becomes,the more it is able to take control over your body and mind.There are various pain bodies like FEAR Pain-body,GUILT Pain-body,etc.etc.These pain-bodies love to grow stronger day by day and aim to take control of your body.

Remember,the over-powering feeling you have just before and after a block,these are the times the pain-bodies are the strongest,they make sure you are unable to apply your techniques,so that they can feed on the negative feelings you will have when you block.The primary reason according to me as to why you cant speak well in a feared situation is that in such a situation,the pain body takes you over ,so that it can remain alive.

So what to do now ????? Its a fact that you cant destroy a pain-body,but what you can do is stop its supply of food,by not having negative thoughts about the situation !!!
Next question- How to do that ??? One answer can be to consciously think of positive thoughts,but trust me,it doesnt work,I have tried it myself.Even if you manage to say positive words at that time,but they are at best at the superficial level.So what to do ????

Just two words-Acceptance and Presence.Instead of unsuccessfully fooling yourself that everything is ok,just accept that you stuttered badly,and let all the emotions come up no matter how negative are they,BUT and its very important,DON'T IDENTIFY WITH THESE FEELINGS i.e. to say let these feelings remain feelings,dont start thinking your never ending stupid thoughts of how you are a failure,you wont get a job,etc.etc. and hence feed these feelings,just allow them to come up,accept them for what they are,and let them go.Dont cling on to them.Pass them off as mere feelings.The best way to do this to be in the PRESENT.Just be aware of the present and you will automatically snap out of these thoughts and emotions.Its the best and shortest way.

And when you do this,you deny the pain-body its food,and slowly the pain-body will diminish,and in feared situations,you will slowly start taking over instead of the pain-bodies.But be patient,the pain-body is very strong at this time,it will take a lot deal of acceptance and presence on your part to starve and dissolve it and slowly take over your life.

PS- All this pain-body concept has been taken from Eckhart Tolle's book,I have just modified it for the stuttering community.:-)

Saturday, January 21, 2012

I Salute You Beata !!!!!

I interviewed Beata Akerman from Slovenia and after the inteview,I could think only about a quotation from Ralph Waldo Emerson-Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.  And Beata Akerman certainly lives up to this glory.As I came to know about her life and all she has been through,I couldn’t help but wonder,how trivial my own problems are.But Beata rose every time the world tried to put her down and today she is a social activist who educates people about stuttering,she is the author of the famous book Isabella,and she appears on various tv shows to spread awareness.So,do read this super-inspiring and emotional interview of Beata,the lady with a “Never Quit Attitude”.

1) Plz tell us a bit about Beata Akerman in high school????
I have very nice memories of my high school years, met many interesting people and learned a lot about myself. But  in some way memories of primary school were always holding me back. Back then many classmates and unfortunately some of the teachers made fun of me. I had no friends, no one to talk about what was going on in school and no one who would understand what I was going through.  Over and over again I asked myself the same question “Why me? Why not someone else?” Not only did I wonder why me, when I was growing up I used to think that there must be someone whose fault it is. Do I stutter because I cried a lot when I was a baby?
Just to see what I was going on a regular basic, I would like to share one of many horrible memories I have. For many years I kept it for myself, because it was too difficult for me to talk about it. But I decided to share this particular experience with other PWS because we need to talk about bad memories so we could release

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Cure Your Fear

I always find myself complaining that no matter what I do,my fear always tends to overpower me in a speaking situation and I start substituting and avoiding words.No matter how much meditation,how much blogging I do,this fear never tends to go.

Today,I found my answer !!!!!!

I was reading a book by a very famous motivator Dr.Schwartz in which he so rightly says:-"The biggest cure of fear is ACTION".
Let me give you an example.I went to Rishikesh last to last year to do water-rafting.In between we all had to jump from a high cliff.Now I had 2 very different friends with me.The first one (lets call him A) just climbed the cliff,not once looked down and jumped.Just like that.I actually thought at that moment that it was damn too easy.But then my other friend (lets call him B),went towards the cliff,he just stood there for a minute,just lost into God knows what thoughts.That 1 minute of thinking cost him the jump.No matter how much we motivated him to jump,he just couldnt,and its not like he was trying,he was putting in every bit of strength he had in him,to jump but just couldnt.Each of us jumped 3 times but he just stood there.And till date he repents that he couldnt enjoy the thrill of that jump.

Thats precisely what happens to the majority of us in everyday life.Just before we are faced with a speaking situation,instead of just speaking out,we start weighing the  possible pros and cons our less than perfect speech might have.And once we have these thoughts its GAME OVER.Then we spend the rest of the day,drenched in self-pity and feeling both sorry and agitated at ourselves.

Even during the national conference,we had to introduce ourselves many times.The times when I spoke when someone asked me to were the times when  so much fear used to accumulate inside of me,that I thought I was going to faint but once I just rose my hand when introduction started without thinking twice and it was the best feeling ever,I stuttered less but more importantly,I didnt let any fear to accumulate inside of me and it was the greatest feeling.It felt so light.

In the example I gave before,it wasnt the jump that was difficult but it was the wait for the jump that was excruciating. Mr A acted and just jumped and hence didnt allow any fear to overpower him and we all know what happened to Mr B.

Similarly,its not the actual speech which is difficult but its the fear of stuttering that does the most of the damage.We all know that the longer we postpone talking to someone,the more difficult it becomes.

As Dr Schwartz puts it "Use actions to gain confidence and cure fear. Action feeds and strengthens confidence,inaction in all forms feeds fear.To fight fear-act.To increase fear-wait,put-off and postpone."

So the next time you are faced with a difficult speaking situation,just stand up and speak without thinking twice.Stop waiting for the time when everything would be perfect and just speak up.Because no matter how much deep breathing you do,no matter how much affirmations you say,without action-you cant cure fear.Its the hard hitting truth,the sooner you realize it,the further in life you will go.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

First National Conference

The First National Conference On Stammering was organized this new year by TISA In india,we have made a humble beginning and to carry this organization forward all we need is your support,here are a few links to the national conference so you get the idea what all happened and hopefully it encourages you to be a part of our next years conference and our workshops :
NC Day 1 : http://t-tisa.blogspot.com/2011/12/nc-day-1.html 
NC Day 2 : http://t-tisa.blogspot.com/2011/12/day-2.html 
NC Day 3 : http://t-tisa.blogspot.com/2012/01/descriptions.html 
NC Day 4 : http://t-tisa.blogspot.com/2012/01/nc-day-4.html 
Here are the photos of the completet conference : https://plus.google.com/photos/117465129517612405511/albums/5693856388158108817?authkey=CKOsxLXkgK3kFw&banner=pwa 

Some quick reactions of the participants after the conference : http://t-tisa.blogspot.com/2012/01/some-nc-videos.html 

Its a humble start by TISA in Indai and hope you will help us carry it forward.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Acceptance vs. Speech Therapy

Just came back from the first National Conference on Stuttering in India,it has been nothing less than an enlightening experience from me,it wasnt just about stammering,it was about meeting people from all across the country having nothing in common but they way they speak.More about that later though (I will be posting about the conference in a short while).


A question that haunts most pws is that whether they should go for speech therapy or practice acceptance by advertising their stutter,joining shg's,etc.What I believe is that a combination of the two is the answer.Here's what I believe should be ideally done-The major obstacle in the recovery process is FEAR.A renowned SLP who hosted the whole conference said that whenever faced by a feared speech situation we should learn to "react" to it by our intelligent human self instead of "responding" to it by our animalistic self.So the next question is how to reach such a level so that we react instead of respond.Imagine this,the first to time you drove a car.You knew everything as what had to be done-ignition,clutch,gear,leave clutch slowly and accelerate,clutch,second gear and so on..... But all of us know that the first time is far more difficult than this 2 line theory.You have to drive the car for a atleast a week till you really start getting whats really happening and in a matter of time you dont really need to remember what needs to be done.And at this stage you can learn all about how to drive in heavy traffic or how to drive when racing with friends(Dont do it though :-) )
I hope you are getting what I am trying to say.


Just like driving,you need to get your fear out first before you can learn some techniques.For that the acceptance practices are necessary.Believe me,I have tried every other possible way out and there is none.You gotta go out,advertising your stutter,join shg's,attend workshops and try to be open about your stuttering. By doing such practices you will slowly start to get what all is happening to you when you stutter instead of going in a semi-numb state of mind.Slowly you will start to analyze your stutter with your mind with no emotions involved whatsoever. In due course of time you will surely reach a level where you dont feel your stammer as a big issue in your life. After this you can always go for speech techniques(read pro-techniques) if you feel the need like prolongation,in-block,mid block,after block corrections i.e. to say that you can take advantage from these techniques only after you learn to react not respond to speaking situations.Acceptance doesnt mean to accept your stutter as it is,it doesnt mean not working on your speech,its just a means to to ensure that you manage your stutter both in the mouth as well as in the mind.


All of this is my personal opinion without no influence whatsoever.I hope I have been of some help.Will be posting  about the conference soon an also an interview with Beata Akerman,so keep following.....:-)