Monday, April 25, 2011

Mr A and Mr B

Imagine a scenario-Mr A and Mr B are both pws who go to the same college.At the end of the semester each student has to give a presentation about a pregiven topic.Now let us go and see both the guys' presentation:-

We will take up Mr. A first:
Mr. A wakes up in the in the morning feeling as abysmal as ever.First thought in his mind-"Can I bunk this ????"Deep inside he knows he cant but still he likes to keep the option open by coming up with various plans.He spends a large chunk of the day brooding and cursing  and then spends some more time cursing the professor for coming up with presentation idea !!!! How unfair,he thinks !!!!(Mind you,he hasnt started his preparation even a bit).He spends most of the day thinking about the various scenarios which could happen tomorrow.Finally ,late at night he opens wikipedia and just copies the content thinking why even bother with it.He already knows whats gonna happen tomorrow.When arranging it in a presentable format,the focus is not on the quality of content but on the maximum inclusion of words he can speak with relative ease(relavant or irrelavant,doesnt matter).He completes the whole exercise in less than an hour,practices it once just for formality sakes and goes to sleep.Oh I forgot-He curses God and the professor again before drifting off !!!!!!

Enough of Mr A,now lets see what Mr B has been upto:
Mr B wakes up in the morning with anxiety.He is also nervous,very nervous for tomorrow.He freshens up and tells his anxiety to give him some rest while he gathers the contents of his speech !!!Anxiety half heartedly replies-"OK FINE !!!!!"Mr B now leaves no stone unturned in collecting the data.He browses every relevant site he can lay his eyes on.He goes to the local library to get some ideas.He even calls the professor to clear some doubts.The Anxiety on the other hand is like-"Hello !!!! I am getting bored in here !!!!!"He finally finishes after arranging it in the desired format !!!! Anxiety is thrilled now to be back again !!! But Mr B says-"Please be patient !!!!I also need to practice it a few times !!!"Anxiety sighs and replies"Ok fine " all the while thinking how long could it possibly take.Now Mr B executes the final portion of his preparation.He practices,practices and practices some more .He practices alone,in front of a mirror,then with his dog,then goes to bother his mom and then goes to a friends house to practice with him !!!!Late at night he finally finishes being extra sure that he has done all that he could !!!!Anxiety,finally relieved says-"Can we play now ????? "Mr B just pulls the covers of his bed and says half asleep-"Are you kidding me ??? I am very tired !!! Let me sleep !!!!"Anxiety feeling very cheated decides to leave his long time friend for the night and hopes it can come some other day.But seeing Mr B's attitude it knows they will never be the friends they used to be and after some time it may have to say goodbye to him.Mr B on the other hand sleeps like a log not before praying to God for tomorrows presentation.

Now I wont tell you what happened the next day,you probably know that but I can tell you that after the presentation the expression on both of their faces were quite contrasting !!!!! Thanx for bearing up with such a long story !!! Before I forget I would like to share a quote with you which probably will have a long lasting effect on me for life-Success and Excuses never go hand in hand !!!! See ya !!!!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Is there a part of me which doesnt want me to change ??????

Well what I am about to share is my own personal experience,if anyone can relate with it,do comment !!!!

There is a part inside me which loves my stammer and it feels good when I think about it including all the plans and stuff which I will supposedly take to improve myself.It feels satisfied when I constantly brood !!! But it feels threatened when I actually start taking steps like doing meditation or speech techniques !!! It does everything it can to stop me from taking corrective measures.It actually feels good when I get frustrated due to my stutter . And whenever I go against it with a strong will,it goes in silent mode for a few days and keeps waiting for that weak moment when it can again somehow persuade me to stop my practice by giving me millions of reasons like-"I think you should look for some other technique,Oh cmon just another movie then you can practice,are u kidding me its the cricket world cup you cant practice,you need to complete your sleep practice can wait !!!! "
And more often than not,this part of me is able to successfully persuade me.So the question is,what can I do ?????? I Have tried to go against it,but  after a few days it inevitably wins !!!

 I guess I should make this part my friend and try to persuade it that it shouldnt necessarily cling to my stammer and allow me to do what is necessary and actually help me in my endeavor.I should not push it aside but accept this part and try to make it help me,I dont know if it will work or not but one thing that I sure shot know is that fighting it is not gonna help me whatsoever.I also believe that this part is present in every pws,if you disagree just take a moment and think how much time you waste thinking about your stammer compared to the time spent in taking corrective action !!!!! Well ,if anyone has something to share even remotely related to this,do comment,it might help me and other pws !!!! See ya !!!!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Its time to do some introspection

Most of the pws are forever complaining !!!!! Life is very hard,people make fun of me,people think I am  not confident,people do this people do that,and what not !!!!! Well I am not saying that there is no truth in this,it does hurt when people make fun of you and life does become pretty hard sometimes but you need to realize that u need to get out of the "I am the Victim mindset" and take control of your life.Lets take a few examples.

Life is hard when you stammer.-to be frank,no one has a perfect life,every one has his own baggage of problems ,if it wasnt stammering,it would have been something else,God gave you a problem in the form of your stutter but   might have taken away several problems he gave to millions of people(take poverty for instance).

People make fun of me-To see this objectively,a very very few people are jerks who might have made fun of you,you should concentrate on the majority who understand your problem and dont bias (positively or negatively) because you stammer.And even when someone does make fun of you,my advice would be to give him a piece of mind then and there itself,this would show your self-assertiveness and take you out of the "victim mindset" by letting you take control of the situation rather than just be silent and let the person make fun of you.

People think I am not confident-Well people are not fault here,you wont agree with me on this but its your own behaviour which makes people think that you are not confident enough.The reason-You stay silent when you should have made a valid point,you let people take you for a ride,you think a hundred times before saying something radical about a guy even when you know he deserves it,you never raise your voice.All this because You might stammer.I want to tell you something buddy,you are stammering anyways,so why not still stammer but do it confidently,Just listen to your heart and say what you want to without having second thoughts and you will see a miracle change in how people perceive you.

I hope I have been a little bit helpful to you guys.See you later!!!!! :-):-):-) 

Thursday, April 7, 2011

An Amazing Discovery

A senior of mine in my training has a style of speaking which I like very much.Just for fun,I started to imitate his speech.To my surprise,my stammering  reduced quite a lot(though not completely gone) as I started speaking in his style.And the cool part is that I like speaking in this fashion,so I am having less difficulty to make this way of speech a habit .The problem one faces after a speech therapy is that he/she finds it difficult to speak in the taught style for longer periods of time as deep down he/she doesn't like to speak in the monotonous tone,so as time passes a pws starts speaking in the old fashion.But I ,on the other hand,am loving speaking like this.I don't know if the results are short term or long term but I am enjoying every bit of it. As my aim to imitate the speech was not for stammering point of view,I was really surprised at the fluency I am having right now.I am speaking feared words with a less difficulty,and am talking non-stop.So the feeling is great right now. And before I forget,I also want to thank my senior who unknowingly has helped me a lot and given me so much joy !!!!
So what do you think of my discovery,waiting to hear from you !!!!!!