Friday, February 18, 2011

Why I never stutter when I am alone ?????

Till date I have never stuttered when I am by myself.I can speak any word imaginable at any speed I want.But when in front of anybody else,the same words would cause blocks.I am pretty sure this is the case with most pws.For those who are confused as to why this occurs,here's an explanation.(This explanation is not a fact,its just my view from observing myself,anyone having a different explanation is welcome to post it in comments)

As i said earlier that I had no problem till standard eight and I was better than most kids around .But after standard eight,I dont know why(maybe hormones and all) I started seeing myself different from others.I started seeing myself as a stutterer(not a pws) and started a desperate attempt to hide my stutter and be accepted(Though I was already accepted everywhere).Whenever I used to be with someone all I could wonder was what the other person might be thinking about me.I used to avoid words and even avoid speaking just to make the other person not think of me differently.In short,I stopped having fun.I spent every second wondering what the other personmight be thinking about me.I did my best to fit in,to be accepted and to be passed off as a normal guy(I again want to mention that in reality I was already accepted,it was just in my head) and thats when the blocks worsened.

The reason why you never stammer when you are alone is because when alone, you dont feel the need to be accepted by others.You have no self-awareness.  But when talking with someone,Your mind is constantly full of questions like:-Am I doing allright?Am I speaking fine?Does he think I am abnormal? So all the time you keep judging yourself and start holding back and thats when the blocks occur.

In reality,the other person doesn't even care(he is probably thinking about his fight with his girlfriend) but you keep on wondering in your mind that the other person is thinking about your stammer and thats why you start holding back and thats why you stammer.It is as simple as that.

So just wait till mankind invents a machine to read people's mind,until then just speak what you want to not caring what the other person is thinking and even if you block you will slowly begin to realize that the other person doesn't care.
And mind you,changing your mindset isn't easy,but keep on trying and it will lead you to the path of  becoming a fluent speaker.


As always,dont forget to comment on the post and if you want to send any contributions or just chat with me ,my e-mail id is kathuria.dhruva@gmail.com

4 comments:

  1. To a great extent it's true that a PWS speech worsen while S/he is in a group, PWS comes under immense pressure while thinking about the hypothetical thoughts of people judging him/her. But it's not always the same, For example - A PWS (even Non PWS) sense change (decrease) in fluency at a point in speech cycle (may be it is due to the hump of negativity one carring) irrespective of any interface.

    Regards
    Kishore Bisht

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  2. First of all thanx for sharing your views,yes you are right,and it happens with every person,I have observed so many normal people mess up while speaking but they dont even notice it and keep on talking but a pws takes even the slightest stutter as a failure(I used to do it a lot)

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  3. it is the same case with me. I never stammer while talking to myself and reason which you have given is absolutely correct.While talking i care more about people, what they will think about me if i will stammer. But from today i will try to change my attitude and i won't care what people think about me.

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  4. I wish you all the best and changing this attitude will take time,when talking, old judgmental feelings will again try to emerge but just ignore them and keep speaking.

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