Though I had a stammer since I can remember but I never let It interfere with anything until I was in standard 8.Uptil then I never had a problem except for a few minor hiccups but I never let them get to me. I remember in standard 5,I was elected the head boy of the junior wing and I had to give a speech in front of the entire school. I gave a perfect speech because at that time I concentrated on what I said and not on How I said it. I wish I never left that mentality. After standard 8, I became overly conscious about my stammer and made a mountain out of a mole hill by my constant avoidance and fear of speaking situations and slowly (due to my own fault) my stammer started controlling my life. I even started avoiding my own friends.
The only people with whom I don’t stammer till date are with my parents; because when I am with my parents my sub-conscious mind is still the same as it used to be when I was little. This is the only area (thank God) where I have made no changes in my mind.
But now I have realized my folly. I still day dream about the time when I was little and I didn’t think about my stutter even for a second and how relaxed I used to be. But still I have improved a lot compared to 2 months ago. Now I am trying my best to be the child I once was. I am constantly observing myself and I have stopped avoiding words. One thing more which I want to say is that never avoid speaking words which you have difficulty speaking because by doing this, you are creating problems for yourself in the long run. I am repenting now and It is taking me a lot of effort to remove this fear of certain words .e.g.- I started avoiding saying Good Morning as I had a problem with saying Good (or so I used to think) So instead I used to say Hello to everybody but then I realized how stupid I had been. Now I make it appoint to say Good Morning to anyone I see. I still haven’t perfected it but I am waiting for that day to come and I know that day is not far away.
As always,I would love your comments,and if you want to send any contribution to this blog,just e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org